No editing just fucking writing

Never let anyone tell you that owning your home is a good idea. its not. I was working at westport making good money for 4 years before thinking about buying. we went into a sweat equity program it took about a year and a half for us to get through the approval process just as we were breaking ground on our new home westport started doin g layoffs. we were at the point that if we were to back out of the program we would have to cough up 25k, i didnt have that money so we stuck it through. The program assured us that the USDA will work the payments around your income. 3 months after moving in I got laid off and 3 months after that started working at walmart for 10k less a year. I asked the USDA if they could lower the payments since we could no longer afford the payments, they basically told me they cant and tough luck. fast forward a year later and I am once again un-employeed, now I am working at OlyPen making about 3k less than i was at walmart. We are 10k behind on on that now…I have no idea what is going to happen. I dont care about losing the house. I just fear being 30 with 4 kids and a wife and living with my parents, just as much as my parents fear having a family of 6 moving in with them. thinking about getting a night job so that we can catch up and fucking my body over on energy drinks for a year. at first it was to make ends meet and since I have been hold up all this stress and fear its more because I just dont want to be around my family. I just unloaded on alisha because I was on wows website trying to get my old phone off the account (code locked) and she made a joking remark. now i am ignoring her killing my earbuds with dubstep and taking out my feeling on my poor keyboard. happy fucking mothers day. now I am off to the store to pick up the pics alisha ordered.